Chapter 16: This Wit Is Not That Will

“Intelligent Core, tell me about the habits of zombies.” Although Du Yun had read many apocalypse novels, they were all the result of authors like herself imagining things. She had no real knowledge of what zombies were truly like, what habits or characteristics they possessed—she was utterly in the dark.

“Um, could you call me by my name, Master?” After a moment of silence, the Intelligent Core brought up an unrelated question.

“Your name? How about I call you Goofball?” Du Yun replied irritably, not noticing that her mood had relaxed considerably without her realizing it.

“Call me Core, or King if you prefer! Goofball is far too low-class a name for someone like me!” The Intelligent Core, now dubbed Goofball, sounded on the verge of a tantrum.

“Well… You certainly don’t seem like a dignified sort… Fine, fine, I’ll call you WiseGoof. That’s the biggest compromise I can make.” Du Yun, unable to bear the Core’s persistent, nagging voice, abandoned her resolve to call it Goofball.

“Fighting Spirit? Carrying out the task of saving the world with unyielding resolve—sounds pretty good! Let’s settle on that, then!” The Goofball Core had no idea that WiseGoof was merely a shortened form of Goofball, not the word ‘fighting spirit’.

“All right, WiseGoof, tell me what you can do.” With a goal in mind, Du Yun still felt plenty of fear, but it was much less than before. As an author with an imaginative mind and nerves of steel, she quickly adapted, and found herself feeling as if she were leveling up in a game world—eager and a bit excited.

“I have maps, and I can scan!” WiseGoof answered immediately, in a crisp, urgent tone. Du Yun almost pictured a chubby blue mascot raising its hand in a cute gesture.

“Hmm, not bad. Anything more useful? For example, I’m hungry right now…” Du Yun gently stroked her stomach as she spoke, which growled audibly. She’d only had a bowl of porridge that afternoon, and it had long since been digested—hunger was indeed unpleasant.

But Du Yun wasn’t simply asking for food; since she was determined to save the world, she wanted to make the best use of the resources at hand. Ugh, why did saying “save the world” make her cheeks flush with embarrassment?

She still remembered clearly how she’d pulled a hoe from the storage grid when she encountered zombies earlier, and the scanning function for their positions. Since WiseGoof claimed to be the Core, surely it had many capabilities. Du Yun wanted to probe its limits and confirm every golden cheat she could imagine.

“Well… Don’t you know that in a zombie world, food is a crucial resource? I’m just an Intelligent Core—what can I possibly do…?”

“So you mean I’ll have to figure it out myself?” Du Yun snorted, mentally crossing out her top golden cheat—the space for producing crops. Apparently, the Core wasn’t built for farming.

“How far can you scan for zombies?” she continued. Scanning their positions was an essential survival tool.

“Fifty meters! I can scan everything within fifty meters nearby!” WiseGoof replied boastfully, sounding quite proud.

The Core’s confirmation eased Du Yun’s mind. With a fifty meter scan range, she’d have some time to prepare should zombies approach, although she wished it were a bit greater.

“Since you could store the hoe in the SkyNet storage grid, can you store other things as well?” This seemed like another possibility—the SkyNet grid might serve as storage.

“That should be possible, but your SkyNet authority level is E-rank, so you only have fifteen storage slots.” WiseGoof answered honestly. Possessing human-level intelligence, it didn’t reveal everything, such as being unclear why items from the zombie world could be stored in the SkyNet grid, or that in its prime it could have easily raised Du Yun’s permissions to the maximum, making storage limitless.

“Hm? Anything can be stored?” Du Yun’s eyes lit up instantly. A universal storage space—surely a golden cheat.

“That I don’t know… I only just rebooted, things are a bit scrambled…” WiseGoof’s voice faltered, sounding like a worn-out radio with a stuck tape.

“Hey, what’s wrong? Don’t tell me you’re out of power?” Du Yun’s heart tightened. She’d been able to converse with WiseGoof and avoid focusing entirely on her surroundings thanks to the scanning function. If the Core suddenly ran out of power and a zombie appeared, she’d be doomed.

“There’s still power…” But the main program has some issues… WiseGoof didn’t finish. With intelligence and emotional acuity on par with humans, it knew it was best not to expose its weaknesses to its owner, Du Yun.

“Good, keep an eye out for zombies nearby!” Du Yun’s attention was entirely drawn to the storage grid function. If she had storage, she could carry more things with her—just like Doraemon’s magic pocket.

Her eyes gleamed as she surveyed the earthen hut, looking for something to store in the grid. Gently setting down the little girl in her arms, she carefully observed her surroundings and glanced at the mini-map in the upper left of her vision. Seeing no sign of zombies, she finally felt safe enough to stand.

The hut contained little—a small earthen kang she’d been sitting on, an old jar near the door, and a few bundles of straw.

“The jar!” Since WiseGoof’s origins were unclear and it seemed liable to shut down at any moment, Du Yun dared not store her weapon, the hoe, for fear of losing it should the Core power down and another zombie appear. She chose the old jar by the door for her experiment.

Du Yun squatted by the jar, trying to store it in the grid. She waved at it—nothing happened. Then she imagined it being stored—still no reaction.

“Ugh… so much for mental power…” Du Yun frowned, deciding to try another way.

“Jar, jar, come here! Open sesame! eonbaby!” She tried every command she could think of, but nothing worked. Growing frustrated, she snapped, “Hey, what’s the deal? Why won’t you go in?”

“This is so strange!” Irritated, Du Yun picked up the jar and slammed it onto the ground. To her surprise, a flash of white light appeared, and the jar instantly vanished into her storage grid.

“So it has to be handled directly!” Du Yun exclaimed, wishing she could try storing the jar a few more times, but she suddenly noticed a large swath of red on the mini-map in the upper left corner of her vision.

“What the hell is going on!”