Chapter 12: Drugging Respectable Courtesans and Raising Havoc in Cloud-Ascent City

“Brother Qian, I truly admire you! If I were a woman, I’d definitely marry you!”

Shuai Ge looked at the mountain of treasures before them, rubbing his hands together in excitement.

Bang!

Qian Jin, who had been standing and counting their spoils, suddenly buckled and collapsed to his knees.

“My friend, considering how many treasures I’ve shared with you, can you spare me your affections?” Qian Jin was nearly sent to an early grave by Shuai Ge’s words. That hulking, three- or four-hundred-pound black giant—Qian Jin knew he could never bear such a fate.

“Heh, I was just making a point, expressing my deepest admiration,” Shuai Ge replied with a sheepish grin.

“No need for such lethal, heart-piercing remarks!” Qian Jin struggled to his feet. “With so many treasures, I’ll finally be well-off. If my master finds out, he’d claw his way out of the coffin just to see me.”

Thinking of his late master, who had endured hunger with him every day, Qian Jin felt a sudden pang of grief. His name had been changed to “Qian Jin”—meaning “tight on money”—because he was always complaining about being hungry, a reminder from his master of their hardship.

“Brother Qian, the dead are gone. You must take heart and look to the future!” Shuai Ge patted Qian Jin’s shoulder in comfort.

Yes, look toward the future—and toward money! Qian Jin glanced at the little pig, who was happily devouring spirit fruits in the pile, and silently vowed never to let it suffer as he had. “So, I must work hard to make money—for the pig!”

“Haha!” Seeing Qian Jin’s fighting spirit reignite in an instant, Shuai Ge burst out laughing. “Brother Qian, what’s your plan now?”

“I’m headed to Ascending Cloud Pavilion to see my master’s wife. My master just passed away—I need to inform her.”

Although Qian Jin trusted this big, dark companion, he dared not utter a word about the divine beast or the ancestor. If he let slip and the pig was stolen, his life would be forfeit.

“Heh! Then I’ll go to Ascending Cloud Pavilion too. I’m all alone anyway, so from now on, I’ll follow you, Brother Qian.” Shuai Ge cheerfully packed away his “wife fund.”

“Deal! When we get to Ascending Cloud Pavilion, I’ll have my master’s wife find you a wife. Then you can have a whole brood of little handsome sons,” Qian Jin replied, promising the moon to his loyal sidekick.

“Really? Brother Qian, you must be my long-lost, blood-bonded brother!” Shuai Ge was moved to tears at the prospect of Qian Jin finding him a wife.

“Good brother!”

…

Ascending Cloud City was a settlement established at the foot of the Ascending Cloud Sect’s mountain gate, the closest city to the cloud-riding immortals. Every year, many came seeking fortune or fate.

It was said that some had jumped off cliffs here and received immortal cultivation methods, soaring to new heights. Others claimed to have given a beggar a humble bun, only to be gifted a stunningly beautiful wife in return.

Thanks to such legends, the people here were exceptionally warm and welcoming. No sooner had Qian Jin and Shuai Ge entered the city than they were swarmed by vivacious young women, each vying to take them home as guests.

“This young man is so handsome—come home with me!”

“She charges, but I don’t—I’ll take you for free!”

“My home offers food, lodging, and company—come with me!”

A crowd of beautiful women surrounded Qian Jin, tugging him east and west. Shuai Ge, watching from the side, was utterly stunned.

“So this is Brother Qian’s charm? He’s just walked into the city, and already countless beauties are fighting over him.” Shuai Ge sighed and looked around, wishing someone would come and grab him—he swore he wouldn’t resist.

“Ow! Ow! Brother, help me!” Qian Jin felt as if his limbs were being pulled by teams of horses, like he was about to be torn apart.

“Brother Qian looks so happy—I can’t understand this kind of happiness,” Shuai Ge muttered, his eyes nearly popping with envy at Qian Jin’s look of rapture and agony.

“No choice—Second Brother, time for your ultimate move!” Realizing Shuai Ge was no help, Qian Jin called out to the little pig on his head.

With a snort, the pig received the distress signal and took a deep breath.

Pfft!

A cloud of yellow gas erupted from the pig’s nether regions, and instantly, everyone within several meters of Qian Jin collapsed in a heap.

“I can’t breathe—this is positively intoxicating!” Qian Jin caught a whiff and immediately felt dizzy and nauseous, hastily escaping the yellow haze.

“Murder! Murder!” Before Qian Jin could catch his breath, his predicament was discovered by the enthusiastic townsfolk, who began to shout.

“In broad daylight, he’s knocked out respectable courtesans! Seize him!” The patrolling soldiers, hearing the commotion, charged straight at Qian Jin.

“Respectable courtesans? Really?” Qian Jin rolled his eyes but wasted no time—his legs carried him away at full speed.

“Wait for me, Brother Qian!” Shuai Ge, with his towering stride, barreled after him.

Bang! Bang! Bang! …

“An earthquake! It’s an earthquake!” Wherever Shuai Ge ran, the ground quaked, sending people fleeing in panic.

“Master said, when escaping, head for the densest crowd. That way!” Qian Jin, after running for a good while, spotted a throng up ahead and dove right in.

“Don’t push! Please wait patiently!”

A cluster of soldiers was locked in a battle of strength with a sea of townsfolk—soldiers shoving people back, the crowd surging forward, desperate to advance.

“Ow—”

“I’m being crushed—”

“I’m out! They’ll never catch me now!” Using his small frame, Qian Jin squeezed through the press of bodies and emerged, gasping for breath.

“I told you not to push! Since you insist, you’re coming with me,” a soldier barked, infuriated by Qian Jin’s blatant disregard for his warnings, and moved to seize him.

“Ran straight into the wolf’s den!” Looking up to see a swarm of soldiers, Qian Jin nearly lost yesterday’s meal in fright, but his agility saved him—he dodged nimbly aside, tripping the soldier to the ground in the process.

“Assaulting an officer! Grab him!”

“Damn, gutsy! Causing trouble right outside Ascending Cloud Pavilion’s gate.”

“He’s done for—he’ll be counting stars behind bars for the rest of his days.”

Seeing the soldiers charging at him, Qian Jin began to feel giddy.

“A sick cat can still roar—you think I’m just a lucky charm?”

“Take this!” Qian Jin, after all, had some real skills; ordinary soldiers were no match for him. In no time, he’d knocked down seven or eight.

“Who dares cause trouble before Ascending Cloud Pavilion? Take this!” Suddenly, a white-robed young man leapt from the guarded courtyard and launched a flying kick at Qian Jin.

“Brother Qian, I’m coming!” Just as Qian Jin was about to take the blow, a massive black shadow plummeted from the sky.

Bang!

“Aaah—”

“Earthquake!”

“My back—!”