Chapter 9: The Man in White Takes Second Brother Away; Short on Money, He Runs into His Own Brother
“Second Senior Brother!”
“Ancestor, please save me! Second Senior Brother has been taken by them!”
Qian Jin pulled out the book, "How to Raise Pigs," from his bosom and shouted at it with all his strength.
“Don’t tell me you’ve fallen asleep! Ancestor, of all times to sleep, you pick now!”
“If Second Senior Brother gets stewed, roasted, or cooked by them, won’t I be doomed too?”
Qian Jin spun around anxiously, growing more frightened as he imagined the little pig being turned into a delicious dish.
“No! I must catch up and get my Second Senior Brother back!”
He wiped the drool from his mouth, grabbed the small pouch from the ground, mounted his horse, and chased after the men in white.
...
“Ugly? Maybe a bit, but I can amuse myself every day,” Handsome Song said, holding a small mirror, admiring his three-hundred-pound figure.
“Heh~” He grinned at his reflection.
“Snap~” His smile froze. “Am I now so ugly that even the mirror can’t bear it?”
He sighed deeply and took another mirror from his storage bag. “Good thing I bought plenty.”
“Giddy-up, giddy-up~”
“Be careful, brothers and sisters! There’s a big stone in the middle of the road.”
“Let’s see whose horse jumps higher!”
“Hiss~”
As Handsome Song was admiring himself, he suddenly felt a shadow overhead. Looking up, he saw a white horse leap swiftly over him.
“Hey~, did you notice? That stone looked a bit like a person.”
A man in white turned to his companion.
“I saw it too. The world is full of wonders. If I weren’t in a hurry, I’d take it home and put it at the door,” another replied.
...
Watching seven or eight figures in white dash away, Handsome Song felt utterly defeated. “No manners at all! Didn’t you see such a big person in the middle of the road?”
He was muttering curses when another white horse sped toward him. Furious, he threw his mirror to the ground.
---
“They’re all wearing white, and this one rides a white horse. All white—must be the same group.”
“A stone that moves? Better go around it,” Qian Jin saw a nearly two-meter-tall “stone” ahead and quickly maneuvered his horse to avoid it.
“Trying to run?” Handsome Song swung his fist, as big as a sandbag, straight at Qian Jin’s white horse.
“Bang~”
“Ow~”
“Ah~”
Qian Jin spun through the air, landing steadily on the ground.
“This kid’s really handsome,” Handsome Song stopped beside Qian Jin, staring at him in a daze.
“Gulp~”
“Big brother, I honestly didn’t realize you were a person,” Qian Jin, frightened by the looming shadow, hurriedly apologized.
“You’re saying I’m not human?” Handsome Song roared, spiritual energy surging as he rolled up his sleeves, ready to give Qian Jin a beating.
“Big... big brother, I meant you have unique features, giving off a magnificent vibe,” Qian Jin stammered, pleading for mercy before the sixth-level Qi refiner.
“Unique? Tell me what’s unique about me. If you get it right, I’ll let you go,” Handsome Song had never been praised before and suddenly wanted to hear some “truth.”
‘That damned vanity,’ he cursed inwardly, hoisting Qian Jin up.
“Big brother, you’re plump but not greasy, a feast for the eyes. I was hungry, but seeing you, I’m full,” Qian Jin racked his brains for compliments, even rubbing his belly for effect.
“A feast for the eyes! That makes sense, keep going!” Handsome Song, though not well-read, recognized praise when he heard it.
‘This big guy doesn’t seem too bright,’ Qian Jin thought, deciding Handsome Song was easy to fool. He put on a fawning smile:
“Look, ugliness can’t be changed, but fat can be lost!”
“Sure, we’re not good-looking, but as long as we avoid mirrors, it’s not ourselves who disgust us, right?”
“You’re not as fair as me, but at least you’re darker!”
“Hahaha, makes sense! You’re quite a character,” Handsome Song laughed heartily, pulling Qian Jin into a tight embrace, tears welling up. “Soulmate! At last, I’ve found someone who appreciates me.”
“Cough, cough, have mercy, big brother,” feeling the crushing pressure, Qian Jin nearly suffocated, his world spinning, stars dancing before his eyes.
---
“Good brother! From now on, you’re my elder brother,” Handsome Song released Qian Jin, shaking his hand vigorously; this feeling of recognition was exquisite.
Barely catching his breath, Qian Jin was shaken so hard his legs gave out and he collapsed.
“My own brother! He’s so moved, he fainted,” Handsome Song looked at the fallen Qian Jin and gritted his teeth.
“I’ve kept myself pure for twenty years; to save big brother, today I’ll give you my first kiss,” Handsome Song made a momentous decision, took a deep breath, puckered his lips, and aimed at Qian Jin’s mouth. Having finally met his soulmate, he couldn’t let him slip away.
“Ah~” Half-conscious, Qian Jin opened his eyes to see a large, flat face rushing toward him and cried out, jerking his head aside.
“Bang~”
“Ow~”
“Cough, cough, cough~”
Handsome Song’s face hit the ground, and as he winced in pain, he collapsed onto Qian Jin.
“Hurry, hurry, I’m dying,” Qian Jin struggled desperately, feeling as if a mountain had pressed down on him.
“Brother, you’re alright, that’s wonderful!” Handsome Song got up, grasping Qian Jin’s hand with genuine sincerity. “For you, I nearly lost my purity.”
“Gulp~”
“Big brother, just now, I nearly died three times.”
Qian Jin was on the verge of tears. He’d been resting peacefully under a tree, only to have his “Second Senior Brother” snatched, then disaster struck in the form of this bumbling giant, who nearly stole his first kiss.
“Whoever dares bully my brother, I, Handsome Song, won’t tolerate it!” Handsome Song beat his chest, vowing to Qian Jin like a man full of indignation.
Qian Jin’s eyes darted. ‘This big fool may not be clever, but his strength is decent. Why not trick him into helping me find Second Senior Brother?’
Having decided, Qian Jin immediately put on a pitiful face and cried, “Brother! I’m miserable, sob, sob~”
He pretended to rub his eyes and continued, “Just now, a group of bandits stole my Second Senior Brother and beat me up.”
“Bang~”
Handsome Song slammed his fist into the ground, making Qian Jin feel the earth tremble beneath him.
“Those damned bandits! Stealing people in broad daylight and daring to hit my brother—they must be avenged!” Handsome Song’s eyes blazed, ready to go through fire and water for his brother.
“Brother! You truly are my brother from another mother!” Qian Jin hugged Handsome Song, his face full of grateful tears.